Archive for the ‘Funny Internet’ Category
| 13 Jun 2009 |
A programmer’s heaven – when one monitor just isn’t enough |
This image is a special dedication to my colleague, mbogdan. This is your dream isn’t it? A nice comfty chair+ a huge desk with lots of lamps, and most significantly 7 monitors where you can code in peace and quiet listening to some rammstein, ;o
| 26 Feb 2009 |
The real way of changing your video card |
I got this method from an old colleague from a PC shop. The presentation was in a .doc format and it was in hungarian. Its damn funny and yet it shows us a brand new method of changing pc components(one time change). I translated the text and added a bit of spice to it to make it more enjoyable.
STEP 1
In the first step locate the video card’s position which requires replacement. Make sure the pc is in a vertical position to avoid any damage the disassemble might cause!
Before starting the replacement process make sure you are psychically ready to do the job.
STEP 2
This step is one of the simplest steps: Take a permanent marker and mark the area of the video card on the PC case.
Make sure the height of the lines is about 15cm and the width 2cm. If you make the mark bigger the replacement process may lead to injuries of your machine.
STEP 3
Grab your friendly Circular saw(which you will find in any retail PC store) and make the incision on the pc case.
PLEASE! Beware not to injure the exterior of the pc case more than needed!
This might cause unforseen difficulties to the pc.
STEP 4
After the incision is made you can clearly see your video card.
Using your plier smoothly grab its torso and make the extraction.
In case the video card doesn’t want to come out put some muscle into it and gently rip it out from its metal body.
STEP 6
Now you’re ready to insert the new video card. After taking a deep breath insert the new video card in its slot on the mainboard.
You want the video card to be 100% stable & fixed after insertion. In this case a hammer is really useful which will help you “knock it” into position.
STEP 7
Great job lad! You’ve successfully finished the replacement procedure. To seal the deep wound you’ve caused use regular household duck tape.
The duck tape will make it simple to replace the new video card in case it fails and will facilitate the healing process.
* Note: This procedure was performed by proffessional stunt PCs. DO NOT LET YOUR PC TRY THIS AT HOME!
| 26 Feb 2009 |
Care to free some disk space? |
After getting my MP5 player(i’ll tell you about it in an other post) which supports .flv playback i decided to search for a bulk youtube video downloader. I’ve tried various applications among which i tried Tube Sucker (link omitted deliberately) which is one dumb application(its design sucks also). (Click image to Enlarge)
Now really! a big LOL at that error message. Basically tubesucker didn’t allow me to install it because i had ONLY 2.7G disk space on C:\. What if i want to save the videos to D:\ where i had 60G’s free?
Man…what a dumb application. Anyway the “Windows needs a lot of free space to keep your machine working cleanly” message is hilarious. What does he mean by “working cleanly”? Does he mean that if i keep my hard drive empty my PC will clean itself? If so then i’ll go and delete some of the winDOS system files to free some space, those files are useless anyway.
| 26 Dec 2008 |
Funny dota moments |
Ahh, dota is so fun, especially when players are picking on eachother. Here’s a selection of cool moments from pro games(could have added more, but there are many many funny moments which involved racism, excessive swearing, etc etc, so i couldn’t really post them up here.
| 16 Nov 2008 |
Care to sell a Custom Made wordpress theme for $1.5? |
A long time has passed since i posted in the Funny internet category, and today is the day when this will change!(well, not too much).
I woke up this morning and as usuall i checked the Buy/sell/trade section at digitalpoint. When i saw the thread paying 1.5$ to design a custom wordpress theme i said to myself WTF?!.
Here’s what the guy wants:
hi
i want a custom word press theme for my new blog based on fish breeding.
it can be either a 2 column or 3 column.but it have to be unique and rich in graphics related to marine life.
please post your theme’s screen shots here and i’ll choose the one i like.
payment will be made only via paypal.
I really liked Domainloco.net’s reply:
I know how you can get a “custom” theme for less than that!
Here are the steps:
1. visit google.com
2. click on the search box
3. look down to your keyboard
4. proceed to type in the word “Free”
5. and the word “wordpress”
6. finally type the word “themes”
7. click search
8. pick a good result
9. click on the link to visit the site
10. choose your theme
11. make it custom by adding your free domain name to it…end.
enjoy!
By this time the guy probably got pissed and came with a very very bad comeback line:
sorry but my budget is low.
i can’t afford more than this.
i have seen designers giving free word press themes.
i just want one of them to design form me.
i don’t want it for free.instead,i’ll pay for it.
Giving away free wordpress themes are one thing and custom wordpress themes are an other thing. It’s like comparing the goat with the cabage,lol.
Its hilarious to see people wanting stuff like this for such a low price. They simply don’t think things over before posting…
| 15 Mar 2008 |
What turns out when a designer and coder work together + other funny stuff |
Yesterday was a funny day. Starting from college where i had lots of fun with my colleagues to the work on the new theme(TS Evolution) for my blog. Both of us were in a good mood so we joked around(how can you work if there’s no fun?)
A little later…
And a little more later…
And here’s the other funny stuff i was talking about:
I didn’t check DP forums for 2 days because i was busy with projects and when i work i don’t really check new job openings. I got overwhelmed once because i usually message everyone who could be a potential client, those who are looking for website redesign. One time 4 people got back to me saying that they want to hire me. This means 4 website designs.
I remember that for a week this was my daily schedule:
Wake up in the morning -> go to college -> get back home and work -> go to sleep
Back then my girlfriend got upset on me a little but she understood that i’m getting money out of this, eventually i took her to eat pizza, lol.
Getting back to the point: i also check other designers threads so i can compare myself to them and see if i have to improve more to catch up or not.
When i read this thread i laughed my ass off:
Thread Title: Tired of [POOR] Quality Graphics from amatures? Look HERE!
A part from the content:
There are 100′s of people here claiming to give you web templates for $10-15. But most of these people have know idea what a quality template is! We design the best quality templates at the lowest price possible.
We at Ziltech Designs can provide you with great quality web templates and other graphics. [...] It usually costs $60 [...] This is a really low price for such quality templates.
We [...] are reliable ( Check iTrader) slayer: they have an itrader rating of 8
When i checked the samples i got shocked. I HIGHLY doubt that someone would pay $60 for a theme of that low quality.
Here’s what sucka replied to him:
Hmm you´re claiming too much I think ^^
Your are on the same level as the other “poor” designers here.
I´m sorry
I bet that this was a kick in the face for zilox. He tried to explain himself that he tries to give the best for that price but i don’t think someone bought it.
Here’s a tip for newbie designers: Don’t start making custom designs until you have a decent portfolio with web 2.0 designs that are smooth and professional. Till then auction your themes to build up your portfolio.
It doesn’t matter that it’s worth 40$ and you can sell it only for 20$. You get an iTrader rating + build up portfolio + references.
| 5 Feb 2008 |
Yahoo Messenger is way too connected with IE |
Yesterday my girlfriend was over and i let her use the PC(this was the first and last time) while i made some popcorn. When i got the popcorn done i came back and we watched a movie and went out for a walk. Yesterday i didn’t start yahoo messenger because i got home late and after a shower i went to bed.
This morning when i started up YM i noticed that emoticons are not showing up, i checked every setting in YM but everything seemed fine, eventually i decided to turn off emoticons because its better to see the mark rather than a square with a red dot in it.
A friend asked me to check a website in IE6 and when i started it up i noticed that it’s not loading any images, i went to Internet explorer settings and noticed that the Show pictures box was unticked, i ticked it, refreshed the page and the images showed up. I checked YM and what do you know, a miracle happened, the emoticons showed up.
I would have never taught that YM is in a such close “relationship” with IE, i knew that the messenger insider uses IE, but i never knew that the instant messaging(the chat) itself is linked with IE also.
Check out my conversation with Tim:
slayer: brb
slayer: i got to reinstall
slayer: YM
slayer: smilies not showing up
slayer: >.<
Tim: ok
slayer: stupid
slayer: emoticons
slayer: still not showin up
slayer: >.<
Tim: lol
Tim: weird
slayer: f**k it
slayer: blah
Tim: lol
slayer: i disabled emoticons
slayer: same shit
slayer: if i see the text
slayer: or emoticon
Tim: lol, ok
| 25 Jan 2008 |
Some people just can’t be lame enough |
This morning when i signed on Yahoo Messenger a guy who added me yesterday pops up with the nickname Yahoo Informations.
He really thinks everyone is dumb enough to just give away his password, at the beginning i played along a little but after that i just told him to fuck off, people like this make me sick, damn lamers!
Check out the conversation:
online.informations (7:15:27 AM): good morning
online.informations (7:15:36 AM): i am from Yahoo Information
online.informations (7:15:54 AM): i found on your ID 2 viruses, can you handle their removal?
exes_slayer (7:16:12 AM): oh no! i got viruses?
exes_slayer (7:16:16 AM): please tell me how to remove them
online.informations (7:16:30 AM): well, its a bit hard to explain
online.informations (7:17:12 AM): please give me your yahoo id password and we will remove them as soon as possible
online.informations (7:17:55 AM): we don’t steal the passwords as other people do, we are honest people
exes_slayer (7:18:19 AM): ok…so i know that a good laugh is good for morale in the morning
exes_slayer (7:18:22 AM): but don’t push it
exes_slayer (7:18:25 AM): i wasn’t born yesterday you know?
exes_slayer (7:18:33 AM): so it would be the best if you would fuck off
exes_slayer (7:18:34 AM): fuck off
exes_slayer (7:18:43 AM): kapiche?
online.informations (7:18:50 AM): man
online.informations (7:18:59 AM): don’t be afraid
online.informations (7:19:06 AM): i’m not like others
exes_slayer (7:19:12 AM): i don’t care
exes_slayer (7:19:14 AM): the thing is
online.informations (7:19:15 AM): ok
exes_slayer (7:19:16 AM): 1)yahoo doesn’t have an office
exes_slayer (7:19:19 AM): here in Romania
exes_slayer (7:19:23 AM): 2)they don’t ask for passwords
exes_slayer (7:19:30 AM): because they have access to the database
online.informations (7:19:35 AM): i will send an email to everyone to not accept your ID because you will infect them
exes_slayer (7:19:40 AM): 3) oh cut the crap
exes_slayer (7:19:51 AM): 4) just fuck off
online.informations (7:21:06 AM): NOTICE!!! Do not accept the id exes_slayer it is a virus and will infect your computer!
exes_slayer (7:21:17 AM): LOL
exes_slayer (7:21:22 AM): lamers these days….
online.informations (7:21:46 AM): ok…i will ignore you now because your id has viruses
exes_slayer (7:21:58 AM): oh no! be careful
exes_slayer (7:22:01 AM): they will jump out of your monitor
exes_slayer (7:22:05 AM): and they will infect you too!
exes_slayer (7:22:13 AM): use an anti cockroach spray
exes_slayer (7:22:14 AM): on your PC
exes_slayer (7:22:19 AM): if it kills the cockroaches it will most probably kill the viruses jumping out of your monitor
online.informations (7:22:19 AM): come on, your in mood for jokes?
exes_slayer (7:22:24 AM): yep,
exes_slayer (7:22:37 AM): i always like to joke with lamers like you
online.informations has signed out. (7:22:43 AM)
Using this opportunity i would like to present online.informations the You’re a lamer!!! award for today.
For my readers: if you encounter people like this, or get emails where someone is asking for your password(most common pishing emails are yahoo/paypal/ebay) DO NOT GIVE THEM YOUR PASSWORD!
The service operators will NEVER ask for your password. NEVER!
Also remember to not visit links that you think are suspicious, just access the website accessing its frontpage. Better safe than sorry 
| 17 Jan 2008 |
Buggy Youtube |
The guys at Youtube ran some maintenance on the website today but it seems that they messed up a few things:
1) If you try to upload a video larger than 100MB you normally get a javascript pop-up message saying for example “The video file cannot be bigger than 100megs.”
Well here’s what pops up now:
UPLOAD_LIMIT represents the max size of the file that can be uploaded.
2) When i used used the Multi-video Uploader even though i had the Youtube Uploader installed it gave me the error message: “Youtube video uploader is not running – you will be redirected to upload page” on this i said to myself WTF? and i rechecked that is it installed, and yep it is installed.
I pressed the OK button and it threw me to upload page where i got the popup message “Uploader successfully installed – redirecting to upload page” and by this way it kept throwing me from upload page to installer page.
I reported the bugs at youtube and most probably they will be fixed shortly 
| 28 Dec 2007 |
Achmed The Dead Terrorist – Christmas edition – Jingle bombs |
In the christmas edtion Achmed will sing us a nice Christmas song: “Jingle bombs” in the usual Achmed way, I’m sure you will love it!
The lyrics of the video(quote from youtube):
Dashing through the sand
with a bomb strapped to my back.
I have a nasty plan
for Christmas in Iraq.
I got through checkpoint A,
but not through checkpoint B.
That’s when I got shot in the ass
by the US Military…
[it's not funny!]Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
Mine blew up you see.
Where are all the virgins
that Bin Laden promised me?
Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
U.S. soldiers shot me dead.
The only thing that I have left
is this towel up on my head.I used to be a man,
but every time I cough,
thanks to Uncle Sam,
my nuts keep falling off.
My bombing days are done.
I need to find some work.
Perhaps it would be much safer
as a convenient store night clerk.Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
I think I got screwed.
Don’t laugh at me because I’m dead
or I’ll kill you…I KILL YOUOUOU!
